A poem I wrote for all of us to let go, love our self into being who we are.
Exhale. Let Go.
Exhale. Go Slow.
Exhale. You Know.
Exhale. Take a Bow.
Exhale. Renew a Vow.
Exhale. You Speak.
Exhale. You Weep.
Exhale. Look Up.
Exhale. You're Enough.
Exhale. Fear Not.
Exhale. Faith Rules.
Exhale. Darling, your life is your school.
Exhale. Be Tough.
Exhale. Own Up.
Exhale. Be True.
Exhale. Its time to Be You.
Thank you for these words I pray.
Thank you for this precious day.
Thank you for this beautiful song.
Thank you for the spirit of life that carries me along.
I rest in your grace.
I know it isn't a race.
I bow to you now.
I understand my place.
Grateful and true, it's a gift to be YOU.
Baby, Let Go.
Last week I shared with you my JOY about hosting a Sweet Retreat in Tulum this Fall to continue encouraging you to find what brings you JOY and then to go for it!
This week I want to speak about a topic many of us (myself included!) wrestle with that often makes us feel anything but JOY. The topic is attachment.
As humans with needs, wants, and desires, sometimes we get caught in a cycle of suffering that results from not getting these needs, wants, and desires met. This often happens in relationships we hold dear. For example, maybe our spouse/lover/partner/beloved is totally overwhelmed and therefore not present for us. As a result, they are unavailable to meet our needs. Suddenly we find ourselves in a mind trap that causes us to attach even more to our need. It's so primal. And so potentially destructive to us and to the one we love if we are unable to see how to meet our need.
This attachment is usually a result of 3 behaviors/feelings we repeatedly engage in, often without even knowing:
1. Expectation: We have trained ourselves to expect that our needs will be met by others.
2. Judgment: When that doesn't happen, we fall into judgment- of self (Am I being needy?) - and of other - (What is wrong with them!! Don't they care!!)
3. Disappointment: When we judge, we feel let down, resentful...anything but joy.
What do we do?
Some of us close our heart. We protect our self to prevent any further hurt. The paradox here is that this won't work. It may be a temporary fix. The truth is, what we most need to do is to keep our heart open. In fact, we need to open our heart even more-- to ourselves and in turn to those we love.
How do we do it?
By practicing non-attachment to our needs, wants and desires.
It's totally healthy and normal to have needs, wants, and desires and to express them. And it's beautiful when our loved ones fulfill them. However, when we come to "expect" it, we set ourselves up for potential suffering.
When we practice non-attachment, we find ways to nurture our needs when our loved ones won't or simply can't. We learn how to be creative in our pursuit. If we long to be touched, we get a nourishing massage. If we long to be heard, we connect with a dear friend or mentor who will simply listen. If we long to be loved, we practice loving ourselves more deeply by allowing our-self to be enough exactly as we are.
My friends, to experience JOY, we must learn how to practice non-attachment. When do we: we free ourselves and therefore others from the burden of expectation; we show up without judgment; we allow disappointment to grow us into deeper love for all.
In my experience, practicing non-attachment is the only way forward to live as JOY.
Having said this, please understand practicing non-attachment does not mean we continue to stay in relationships or situations that are one sided and will never meet our needs. Rather, as we learn non-attachment, we deepen our self-love enough to speak our voice with clarity and compassion. When we do this, those who want to meet our needs will begin to show up...or not. From here we get to choose what to do, and we do it from a place of non-attachment...peace...clarity...love.
Finally, as we begin to live as JOY, we realize that in the process we have also learned the 2 magic ingredients which make all of it possible: gratitude and love.
SWEET RETREAT - TULUM, MEXICO
With Stephanie Filardi
October 31st - November 5th, 2017
Relax, Renew & Nourish yourself in this amazing Mayan land.
Start the day with meditation and yoga in front of the sea, savor healthy and fresh meals, unwind with free time by the Caribbean Sea or explore the wonders of the area, connect with like minded people.
Open to All Levels!
Last week week I spoke about the importance of taking time away in sweet retreat to connect us to what we want, need, and desire. Did you plan to take a mini retreat as I suggested?
March is here. Spring will be coming soon. Time is moving fast! Before we know it, 2018 will be here. This is why I feel it's important to inspire you to ask yourself a question.
As I share in my book Reclaiming Joy, this question has become one of the guiding principles of my life.
The question: Am I Enjoying..."this"?
By "this" I might mean: the food I put in my body, how I spend my free time, the way I share my work and everything in between. Quite frankly, "this" is my life.
Everyday I have conversations with people who aren't enjoying some or even all aspects of their life. My heart sinks when I hear this.
1. Life is Short.
2. We are meant to be JOY.
3. It's unnecessary.
When we realize we are the captain of our ship, we have the opportunity to take responsibility for the choices we make. As I've said countless times before, enjoying life starts with waking up. It's true. Often we are woken up by pain and suffering that has become too much to bear -- from an illness, an addiction, or a loss of some type. Whatever it is that causes us to wake up, the process is nectar for our growth.
So my friends, let's not waste another moment asleep in our precious life. Start now. Choose JOY. Commit. Get support. Take action. Celebrate. Repeat.
How???? Yes, I talk about all of this in my book. I wrote the book to help bring more JOY into the world, one person at a time :)) In the meantime, my post from earlier this year will help you get started.