Where are YOU on the List?
In previous writings I shared with you how to begin creating your goals for your year ahead and told you one of my goals is Adventure!!
As we close the month of January in a new year my goal stays the same -- adventure with a twist --rooted in DEEP INFINITE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Today I encourage you to stay committed to YOURSELF, no matter who, and no matter what you are currently facing.
PS: Why do you think I will continue to plan retreats?
SO....Why is this my message today?
In my life and my work I continue to support loved ones and clients with all types of extremely difficult challenges from addictions and abuse, to anxiety, depression and overall lack of clarity.
Upon reflection, I notice there is one thread that runs through all of the struggle. And it is this thread that will determine their ability to "overcome".
The thread you ask? The ability to put themselves first.
I trust many of you who are reading this understand what I mean...even if you have not yet mastered this feat.
Think of the oxygen mask on the airplane.
You must have oxygen for yourself first, before you are able to help the other. Without your own source of oxygen, you will both...end up dead.
Same with life. Yet we RESIST we RESIST we RESIST! And guess what? Whatever is trying to get our attention, whatever is asking us for love, PERSISTS.
Unless we uncover, honor, advocate and then act for the life WE want (OUR own oxygen supply)-WE will end up with whatever WE get. A slow and painful death indeed.
Based on personal experience, the ability to save ourselves first is an on-going practice.
Perhaps hard at first because we've been told it's "selfish" and therefore lack the tools/support required.
In fact, not taking care of ourselves is selfish!!!
With practice, saving our self first becomes a way of life. As such, it gets easier.
Eventually, we realize there is simply no other way to live.
We must save our self first because the other way is hell on Earth.
Ready for my Reclaiming Joy Retreat now? I am!!!
Last week I spoke about how we are entrusted with this body- it's a gift and we are entitled to nothing.
This week as some of you are embarking on the 3 Day Refresh with me, I want to remind you to pay attention. To what?
Pay attention to what makes you come alive!!! Meaning, what makes you feel good, peaceful, grateful?
Yes, sometimes it's getting on a plane and going on a sweet retreat (PS: 2018 Tulum Retreat dates have been set!).
However, most often it's much simpler. When we stop and pay attention often we realize that feeling good results from choosing to see and fully experience "the good".
Make a gratitude list.
Take 5 minutes to feel the sun on your face while you inhale and exhale.
Plan that breakfast/lunch/dinner/movie/comedy show/musical/massage.
When we "do" things we enjoy - and remain present - it makes us feel ALIVE. Feeling alive results in feeling good. When we feel good, our state of being is enhanced and we make better choices. As we repeat this cycle, we "need" less and less to feel good. Each moment becomes an opportunity to say, "yes, thank you". And we realize it's not so much what we are "doing"...it's how we are "being" in the doing.
Ahhhh...being and doing is what I speak about in my book, Reclaiming Joy. For most of us it's a lifetime practice...
Last week I shared a poem, It Stops Today, to encourage you to harness the powerful energy of the universe we are experiencing in order to manifest your life.
Today I want to share a simple and practical paradigm for understanding what it takes to move from thinking about something to taking inspired action toward that something.
The paradigm: Rest Root Rise
Rest = Most of us are plain exhausted, on all levels. Even the idea of going on retreat or planning a vacation breeds feelings of anxiety...it's another thing "to do" or spend money on. This is not how we are meant to live. If this is you, time to revisit where you are directing your energy.
In Chapter One of my book, Reclaiming Joy I speak of Rest as Vitamin R. We need it, like we need food, water, and air. Often when we are in need of deep rest, like a retreat or even a sabbatical, it's because we are at a major transitional point in our life. In the rest, we gather our energy to let go old ways of being and create new paths for our life. In effect, the rest supports our ability to root, or become grounded.
As such, unless we make rest a priority, we will simply be too tired to co-create and live the life we deserve. I won't go into the many reasons we exhaust ourselves. You know them. What to do? Focus on taking time off to rest, if that's what you need. At the same time work toward getting 8 hours of sleep each night.
Seem impossible? Great. Learning opportunity! Reflect on how you are currently spending your time and redirect to invest it wisely on getting rest and enough sleep. When you are rested... you will become rooted.
Root = By rooted I mean grounded, calm, present, connected, aware, awake...nourished. All of us have been at points in our life when we feel anything but the above. Living life from a place of feeling like we are "floating/reacting" whether its because we are anxious, unclear or simply don't feel grounded will not serve us in the long run. Meaning, we will not be able to rise above the drama of life in order to manifest (aka co-create) the life we want.
Rise = The place of growth, evolution, wisdom that supports living our authentic self. We arrive here only by being rested and rooted. We cannot rise when we are exhausted and unclear. It simply doesn't work that way.
When we are rested and rooted we experience the positive energies of life: love, laughter, joy, compassion. In a specific sense, we: enjoy positive and loving relationships, work in a field or vocation that inspires us to be our best, have abundant health and vitality, and our bank account $upport$ the vi$ion we have for our life.
All cups overflow. We attract partners in prosperity on all levels. We are at home in our self. We are peace. We are fully alive. We do not fear death because we know we are truly living. #Noregrets
And yes, this cycle of rest, root, rise comes along many times in our life until we arrive back home to our self and look upon all areas of our life with gratitude, grace...peace...joy. It's the feeling that all is well and we want for nothing.
Breathe that in. And believe it is possible for yourself, cause it is.
Rested, Rooted, Risen...Yet Again :)
Last week I invited you release something/someone you are burdening, which no longer serves your highest destiny path so that you experience living light as a feather. Otherwise known as joyful living...
What are you noticing? I would love to know here.
This week I am called to speak about suffering. So much of my life's work of late has been about understanding and then sharing the nature of suffering.
From this reflection a deep inquiry arises:
How do we live joyfully in the face of so much suffering-- both in the global world and in our personal world?
To get an authentic, practical, action oriented "answer" I believe we must first realize, that yes, suffering is inevitable. For each and everyone of us, if we are lucky.
Suffering is a teacher. Without the lessons, we stay stuck.
What is suffering?
Not accepting the burdens we face...
Judging the burdens and our response to them.
Expending all of our energy resisting "what is" therefore depleting us of the precious energy to make necessary changes to live, love and enjoy life.
What are our burdens?
A few examples:
Abandonment, abuse, addiction, anger, anxiety, depression, illness, loneliness, loss, neglect, self hate...
Do we all face burdens?
Yes, at some point in our life, we do.
If suffering is inevitable, how do we live with joy?
Meeting ALL burdens with non-judgmental - compassionate - acceptance.
Many of us hold our burdens so tightly we allow them to confine and define us. We identify with the darker parts of our humanity (remember those shadows?) and ignore the lighter parts. We end up feeling shame, guilt, fear. We do this to ourselves and others. And "they" do it to us. It's not how we are meant to live.
Once we face the truth of our burdens, through acceptance, we free up the energy of resistance.
I share an example of acceptance and embracing the parts of ourselves we feel shame /guilt/fear about (our shadows) in my book, Reclaiming Joy on page 32 when I speak of my unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Until I accepted, nothing changed.
What do we do with this freed up energy (remember energy is our #1 asset)?
We direct it towards healing.
Healing ourselves, and in the process, helping one another heal.
We learn to view all experience, including and especially our burdens, as opportunities to awaken more fully into the life we were meant to live. In the process of awakening, we cultivate compassion, wisdom, and ultimately deep self love. Compassion, wisdom, and self-love become the foundation of our life from which all prosperity flows.
We look in the mirror and know our worth no matter if we are poor or rich, Ceo or janitor, single or married, thin or heavy, abused or enlightened, addicted or clean...whatever.
As we accept our own burdens and cultivate compassion, wisdom, and deep self love, the next step is to extend non-judgmental compassionate acceptance to others.
It is from this place of acceptance that we heal and so too the world. Beneath the facade, we are one. One heart. One love. One energy.
So, is suffering inevitable?
Are we able to experience suffering and still live in joy?
In the face of inevitable suffering, when judgment ceases, and acceptance prevails, we are able to live joyfully.
Is this an easy way to live?
Over time, it's the only way. Enough said.
Last week I talked about engaging with your council, meaning what is your method and frequency of communication.
How is it going? Feel free to email me and share.
As you continue to develop and engage with your council, I invite you to take pause. We are half way through 2017 and it's a great time to stop and reflect. Or as I say in my book Reclaiming Joy, it's time to Stop Driving and Start Thriving.
What do I mean?
Many of us spend our life so busy doing - the endless to do lists- we neglect to notice how we are being. In fact we invest next to nothing in being because we are spending so much on doing. My friends there's a cost to excessive spending on doing without investing in being.
What's the cost?
We end up losing sight of why we are here, what's important to our well-being, and ultimately what brings us joy. We go through the motions. We end up broke and depleted physically, energetically and sometimes emotionally, financially and spiritually. Our health, relationships, bank accounts and work suffer. We live in "should'. We give up.
Is this how we are meant to live?
No way. What I am noticing more than ever is that many people don't realize excessive thinking is part of the "excessive doing". In fact it's the thinking that puts us in this endless cycle of doing (should's).
Really? Tell me more.
As you many of you know, I meditate daily. And yes, I still "suffer" the afflictions of the mind. I am human. Yet, because I have made meditation a daily practice now for almost 20 years, I have developed a powerful habit.
The ability to discipline my mind and thereby redirect my attention from the negative (seeming obstacle ) to opportunity (positive possibility).
It's such a sweeter place to live. And at 41, this is how I choose to live.
Why Am I Sharing This With You?
Part of it is selfish. It's not fun interacting with anxious, stressed, negative people.
More than ever humanity is suffering, mostly by their own hand because there is no mental discipline. Stress, anxiety, anger and fear are at an all time high. And yet we still engage in the habit of turning on the TV to watch the news.
Part of it is self-less. I believe we are all meant to thrive. It saddens me to see so much suffering and I feel the need to do my part by helping people wake up!!!!
Unfortunately, many people still do not have a daily meditation practice and yet they want life to be better, different. You know the saying- we are what we repeatedly do? Well, here it is. It is unrealistic to expect our life to change when we won't change our habits.
Why Invest in The Habit?
Gaining control of your mind is the one habit I suggest you invest heavily in.
I see this trend of stress, anxiety and fear increasing. For such an advanced society, we surely have failed at what I feel is the most important aspect of living well- the ability to control our mind.
When we allow our mind to take control, the stress, anxiety, and fear separate us from others. We become a society of me versus you. It shows up globally, in our boardrooms, classrooms, kitchens, bedrooms, and everywhere in between. Living this way is anything but thriving babes.
This week my invitation for you is to: Stop Driving Start Thriving:
1. Stop. Notice how much you spend doing by allowing your mind to create drama, story, separation, negativity...obstacles
2. Stop. When you notice your mind engaging in the above, invest in being...re-frame it to how this experience is one of: learning/growth, connection, positivity...opportunity
3. Stop. Observe the results...how do you feel...are you being peace?
4. STOP making excuses and commit to a daily meditation practice
5. Stop. Celebrate as you cultivate your new habit of mental discipline...
There is no magic pill to ease the mind. You must make meditation practice part of your daily routine to help you cultivate the habit of mental discipline. In this way, when the stress, anxiety, anger, or fear hits, your habit will kick in and re-direct your mind from obstacle to opportunity. In a word: Thriving. It's all a mind game this life. Those of us who get this, thrive...laughing all the way home to our grave.
A quote for you:
"To develop a reliable routine, a golfer has to decide to follow it and practice it time after time until it becomes an ingrained habit that will show up no matter how much pressure he or she is under. You can be sure that under pressure, you will find out what your dominant habit is." -Dr. Bob Rotella, Golf Is Not A Game of Perfect
Last week I introduced the idea that nothing is wasted, encouraging you to see all experience as teachers. Why? To empower you!!!
How is it going? Tell me here.
This week I want to keep it soft and simple by reminding you that living is an endless opportunity to practice peace. If you are reading this, it is likely you are more sensitive than the average person. As such, in addition to the challenges you may be facing in your own life, you are perhaps also feeling the collective depression/anxiety that is occurring on the planet. It's real. So, this week my invitation is for you to practice peace as you live your life...until it becomes a way of life...
What do I mean by peace?
May you find this "definition" practical and workable:
Peace isn't the absence of noise, challenge, hard work...
Peace is being in the midst of all of this while having a calm mind, open heart and absolute faith...in a word...LOVE
Love is THE way, the only way...
As I've shared in my book, when we choose LOVE as the path, it also becomes the practice and the fruit.
PS: I am talking LOVE without condition.
Practice living peace by choosing love...
Love your mind to calm with meditation, love your heart open with possibility, love your life by walking in faith. Respond with love, no matter who/what. Try it. See what happens. I'll check back with you next week :)
Last week I talked about confronting the facts...the good/bad/ugly in order to gain knowledge, a key ingredient for success.
What are you noticing? Are you being kind to yourself in the process? Tell me here.
This week I want to remind you that nothing is wasted. Meaning, when we choose to look at all experience as teachers, we begin to build/strengthen our faith. Maybe we even begin to build/strengthen trust in ourselves...in what we love and then in how we choose to live this love. Yum. Gives me goose bumps writing this. Living what we love!!
In Chapter Two of my book, Reclaiming Joy I introduce the concept of "Powering Up for Joy." This was by far the most intense and challenging chapter for me to write and for many to read as it connects to their story. In this chapter I share the darker times in my life and how kicking and screaming I finally learned how to use the darker moments to empower me toward the light...love...JOY.
What's amazing about choosing to live the concept that nothing is wasted-- is that it's empowering!!! Why?
Since we are what we repeatedly think, because thoughts are energy and turn in to actions, concepts that empower us, build our energy. Empowering concepts build the good kind of energy required for us to make manifest our love (aka = to really enjoy life).
Remember, energy is our #1 asset. If we are unaware of what energizes us and also what depletes us, we will end up being unaware and too exhausted to live the life we love.
As I was sharing my darker experiences in Chapter Two of my book, it was from a place of having learned and therefore my experience became a "teaching" story. Meaning, I experienced so much healing once I confronted the facts, I was able to move beyond my "personal story" - the intensely emotional dis-empowering one - to a story that would serve others. Nothing is wasted....
Being able to share our experience as a teaching story happens from a place of emotional balance and therefore clarity. This place is very different than if I had been sharing several years ago when it was still too raw and I didn't see the whole picture. Know what I mean?
Usually when we are in the storm, we are unable to see. At the time of my storm, I still had too much healing to do and it would have been a deeply personal, emotional story that wasn't in service to sharing. Note I am not saying it's bad/wrong to share our intense emotions with people who are willing and able to hold space for us. Sometimes we blow. Having an emotional release for the sake of release is normal and healthy.
However, having an intense emotional release is very different than sharing a past emotionally intense experience from a place of calm with the intention of teaching.
The key, as you hear me say often, is to stay the course, weather the storm, ride the waves. Keep engaging in practices like meditation that enable you to observe your experience in a less emotional way. I promise it is from this vantage point that you will begin to move from the personal story to the teaching story. And by the way I am not saying you have to share and teach your story. That's up to you. I will say if you believe nothing is wasted, then you will likely find some way to share your story to help others. It's empowering to do so and keeps you on the path...
This week I encourage you to continue working with confronting the facts and bringing to it this concept of nothing is wasted.
As you do, may the words of Geneen Roth (love her & her book, Women, Food and God) remind you to trust-- and then do-- what you love that makes you come alive!!!
"The Voice-induced decisions - those made from shame and force, guilt or deprivation, cannot be trusted. They do not last because they are based on fear of consequences instead of longing for truth. Instead, ask yourself what you love. Without fear of consequences, without force or shame or guilt. What motivates you to be kind, to take care of your body, your spirit, others, the earth? Trust the longing, trust the love that can be translated into action without the threat of punishment. Trust that you will not destroy what matters most. Give yourself that much." -Geneen Roth
Last week I talked about joy, unencumbered, meaning-- how do we walk the path of life, feeling JOY, unencumbered, once we open our eyes to the sometimes challenging reality of LIFE.
What have you noticed?
What choices have you already made & will continue to make, right NOW to experience JOY...unencumbered?
Tell me here, I'd love to know and hold you accountable.
This week I invite you to consider another concept:
Each and every one of us is born to THRIVE.
Truth. Thriving is part of the blueprint we are born with.
Do you believe that?
If not, why not? Watch those negative thoughts. Your beliefs/thoughts become your life.
Over the past few weeks in my walking with protection workshop (Note: I am offering this workshop again in June), my sessions with clients and in my heart felt talks with loved ones, something has revealed itself... a gem of sorts.
Many people do not believe they are born to thrive. Instead, at some point after birth they have come to accept that life is a struggle. This belief impacts their reality as they live each day in "survival" mode.
Do you know what I mean? It makes my heart sad. Maybe this is you, has been you, or perhaps it's someone you love- living in this "mode". Whatever. This isn't about judgment, ever. This is about reality and choosing to THRIVE, to be ALIVE.
I talk about this struggle of surviving versus thriving in my book Reclaiming Joy. I share that we spend so much time busy in the doing, trying to survive, we neglect to notice how we are being. In the process, we end up sleepwalking through life...holding so tightly onto threads of what may have been "if only"...waiting for some big shift to happen or for someone else to save us.
I will tell you from my experience-- the big shift starts with you! Yes, often our circumstances drastically change (death/divorce/addiction/depression) and it forces us to open our eyes. Yet- it still comes back to us making a shift-- we still have to make the choice to THRIVE, beyond what has happened for us, (not "to" us remember?)
Why would we choose to THRIVE when it seems like so much work/energy, even scary, etc to take the action steps necessary?
Because at some point we realize it's the only path. So, yes, we are born to THRIVE! However, this birthright is not a license to be lazy and sing the "woe is me" song when life hits.
Many of us get stuck in everything that we feel "prevents" us from thriving:
Who has betrayed us, hurt us, stolen from us, broken our heart, let us down, abused us...lied to us, etc, etc.
What to do?
First, upgrade your belief/thought pattern to, "I WAS BORN TO THRIVE and I WILL". Free up that stuck energy and direct it towards LIVING.
Second, look at yourself in the mirror, into your eyes and really ask yourself:
What kind of life do I wish to live?
As you explore your answers, perhaps you will list qualities such as: faith, truth, integrity, love, peace, abundance, adventure, ease, JOY.
As you explore your answers and get clear on the life YOU wish to live, when circumstances present themselves that are less than the qualities you have listed, you get to choose....
Am I willing to speak my voice in this situation to advocate for the qualities I wish to live by?
If yes, then there are only 2 outcomes.
Either the other party/parties will step up, or not.
Which leads to the next choice.
Are you willing to stay because you have yet to learn "that" lesson....i.e.: you are enough, deserving to ask...and work it through?
Is it time to prepare how you will exit a situation that no longer serves YOU and the life YOU wish to live.
Much food for thought. Take it in. Let is simmer. Write, Pray, Meditate, Share with me.
I got it, I get it, I support it. We are't meant to walk alone.
No judgment here-- Only ever Love to help you THRIVE.
Speaking of THRIVING...have you chosen to join us???
Sweet Retreat Tulum, 10/31-11/5!!
Experience the many ways we nourish ourselves. Learn More.
Last week in staying with theme of paying attention, I talked about about the many ways our habits define us. I shared examples of how this happens and what we can do to make a shift. What did you notice?
This week I want to talk about how we walk the path of life, feeling JOY, unencumbered, once we open our eyes to the reality of LIFE, including our amazing habits...and our not so amazing habits.
Pause, Exhale, Read the next few sentences out loud. Your voice is a powerful transmitter of energy and information. You must listen to it and feel it.
So...Unencumbered = not having any burden or impediment...
How do we walk the path of OUR unique life, feeling JOY, as we ALSO face what seem to be the burdens and impediments of life?
Here's what I will share.
Those of you who know me personally have insight into my love life! Fast recap: I fell madly in love with a man, David who lives in Chicago. He has 2 beautiful kids and all. I have myself, 2 cats and a thriving business in New York. Hmmm..
Joy? Yes! Burden/Impediment? Yes, at times!
It's no coincidence right after I met David I began writing my first book, Reclaiming JOY. The theme being, reclaiming myself, by being who I am...really going after my deepest hearts desire. And yes, in the process I received that in David.
Fast forward almost 2 years later and I see the book writing as preparation for this present time in which I am navigating a long distance relationship. Lots of travel. Lots of what seem like impediments and burdens to my JOY: conflict from my heart being in 2 places, my body adjusting to the very different energy of 2 places. Separateness!
Truth: Living half of my life in Chicago, and half in NY has been tough. I am a person who gets ALL in. Fully present. I want what I want and I usually get it. Oh boy. Control freak coming out.
And now, I got what I want, LOVE, and yet the distance...(burden/impediment? or gift?).
Don't misunderstand me. I am filled with joy. Grateful for love. Grateful for all of it.
I am able to see the gifts in the 2 lives I am leading.
And yet- when I am being totally honest with myself, in my truth, in the center of my being, I long for the two lives to merge in one physical location. To ease some of the "burden".
Since all we have is the present moment, and it's uncertain how/if/when a merge will happen, I am frequently reminded of what I wrote in Reclaiming Joy. Specifically, joy is a way of being. Joy is a choice. So, while I have my heart, body, mind, split at times...or at least that is what it feels like, I am also learning how to travel lighter, free of burden, unencumbered. To find the freedom and the FUN.
1. By choosing to continue being myself (reclaimed JOY) and honoring my truth which is my desire for partnership that is "merged".
2. By shifting my perspective so that I am open to really really really practice what it means to live as joy, unencumbered.
Meaning, to see all of it as an adventure! To find JOY in the distance even when it seems like separateness. The separation is in my mind (ego), not in my heart (divinity). Very different.
The truth is-- YES! There are many days I fall to my knees and ask God, why? What is the lesson in this? Haven't I struggled long enough? Carried enough burden already? Why can't this be easy? Show me! Tell me! Please. In the end, I exhaust myself to the point of letting go...of surrender.
And then I hear that still voice within that reminds me, this is all part of the journey. JOY isn't the destination. JOY is the journey!!! I must see it this way in order to feel joy, unencumbered. Powerful. Freeing. Beautiful really. Tears of gratitude flow. A second book coming?
So, while the distance is a challenge, it is also the sweetest of gifts. I get to learn, yet again, how to live what I teach. I get ample time to play in this garden of the unexpected, letting my walls crumble, putting down my sword down and bowing to the love that is in my heart and flowing, no matter where I am and who I am with. In fact, the challenges force my heart open even more...to survive, I must to find more ways to give my love. Fascinating. A paradox? I play the polarity. More on that another time.
I also get the chance to express myself, here with you. I give voice to my feelings as a way to encourage you to give voice to that which you are holding so tight that it keeps you burdened...encumbered...unable to experience the JOY of YOUR life.
A long writing today, I know!
So, let us remember that in the expression, the depression lifts. As my shaman brothers and sisters have taught me, we must tell our story and also retreat to silence...and this process, this polarity frees up our burdens so we may sing and dance again...traveling lighter...experiencing joy...unencumbered.
Invitation for YOU:
What choice will you make, right NOW to experience JOY...unencumbered?
Will you reach out to a loved one? Say I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you?
Will you tell your story? Will you retreat to silence?
Will you commit to song, dance and our Tulum retreat :))?
And then, how will you continue to make choices on a daily basis to experience joy...unencumbered?
Tell me here!!!
Last week I shared with you a brilliant short video about mindfulness and how it empowers us. I reminded you that where our attention goes...our energy flows.
Staying with this theme of paying attention, I want to talk about habits.
In a recent conversation with a friend, she told me for Lent she gave up Facebook.
She admitted it was very hard. She wasn't 100% "successful" yet she learned a valuable lesson about habits.
Specifically she learned that her habit of incessantly checking Facebook was both an energy/time drain, and an emotional roller coaster. In giving up FB, while she may have felt more disconnected at times, she also felt more at peace. Interesting huh?
She noticed that each time she checked FB, she was emotionally triggered - either positively or negatively. This habit of checking FB was something she created and therefore was something she could change. The realization of this habit gave her a new interest in bringing greater awareness to her habits in general.
In the space of disconnecting (with discipline) from FB, she realized other habits in her life (the positive ones too!) that she engaged in. This recognition felt empowering for her. Why? It reminded her she is always in choice about how/where she is investing her energy/time.
Naturally this conversation got me thinking about my habits and how they define me. Meaning, if I am unaware of certain habits, I am living in somewhat of an asleep/unconscious state. I may be moving from one thing to the next because it's what I "always" do. This automatic behavior - habits - may be causing me to miss out on a more enjoyable and easier path!!!
AHA: The ability to step back and notice our habits gives us the awareness to choose consciously. Think of it as another form of meditation-- an active one!
Below are some examples of how my habits have dictated my thoughts, words and actions...and therefore have defined my life.
Thought Example: When I see a person being unkind, my habit is to think, "wow, that person is mean".
Habit Breaking Idea: Perhaps this person is having an awful day and they need my positive thoughts with a smile...and if I give my positive vibe, I feel better too!
Word Example: When someone accuses me of being unkind, my habit is to rush and defend myself...ME!? Unkind!?
Habit Breaking Idea: Perhaps I am having a bad day!! And I am being unkind in that moment. And my being "unkind" is a sign I need to be still, rest...nourish myself in some way.
Action Example: When someone I love doesn't acknowledge me when I do something generous for them, my habit is to withdraw emotionally.
Habit Breaking Idea: Perhaps it's about me learning (again and again!) to be generous without expecting something in return. Or about honoring that perhaps I need to do something for myself or ask someone I love to do something for me :)
Oh the wisdom to be learned in noticing our habits!!! The invitation is for you to notice your habits. Be gentle with yourself. Have fun with it :)