Last week I shared 3 ways to deal with the drama that often comes when we are in discomfort/struggle.
In honor of Valentine's Day, this week I want to share with you a simple reminder I have learned and continue to re-learn about LOVE.
Truth: sometimes love hurts!! Love hurts when the people we love are dealing with their own struggles and we want to fix them, rescue them, wish it were different for them...make it better for them. When we behave this way, we end up taking on their pain and we bear their burden. In the end, we get tired and even resentful. The result is we act like anything but love. At the extreme, the relationship takes on death of some sort by becoming a drain on our life force energy or ending completely.
What to do?
Consider all of your love relationships- family, friends, lovers...
Where are you bearing the burden for a loved one?
If this is true for you, consider how instead of bearing the burden you may share the burden.
By sharing I mean you are there for them by listening with non-judgment, compassion and unconditional love. You support them. Yet you recognize the person must accept their "stuff" as their own. They must take responsibility and "do their inner work".
When you bear the burden for a loved one, you are preventing them from taking their own journey to healing. And you are also diverting precious energy away from your own healing. When you share the burden, space and energy is freed up to be in true partnership with the other thus allowing for mutual support = healthy, fulfilling, conscious relationships.
As you practice shrugging off bearing the burdens of loved ones, you will realize the only types of relationships that truly feed your soul are those in which the burden is shared. Be gentle with yourself in this process. I support you!!
"To love someone gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu