As I speak about in my book Reclaiming Joy, Your 4-Step Guide to Happy, Healthy & Free good health goes beyond just nutrition and exercise. It comes from achieving balance in every area in our lives. That includes the emotional and social parts of our lives, too! For me this is the area of Relationship.
If there’s someone in your life who’s draining your energy or causing you stress, you could be dealing with a toxic relationship.
What is a toxic relationship?
Toxic relationships can take many forms, including draining energy, causing drama, or even violating the boundaries of other people in order to get the emotional benefits they need.
Toxic people often don’t realize the destruction they cause. Interactions with these types of people can lower our self-esteem and captivate our energy in a negative way. Many people see a toxic person and feel the need to take care of them, often leading to the depletion of their own wellness. This is just as destructive as the pain of confronting or withdrawing from the behavior of a toxic person.
So, how do you navigate a relationship with a toxic person?
Ideally, we would cut off contact with anyone who doesn’t benefit our emotional well being. We would simply never talk to the people who drag us down. However, there are some people that we just can’t avoid, such as parents, siblings, and bosses.
Thankfully, there are middle grounds between engaging with destructive people and completely cutting them off. You can learn and practice different communication techniques, Conscious Communication. If you must interact with a person on a personal level, you can look up support groups in your area for support and love from other people.
Take care of yourself first.
For some people, this is the hardest lesson they ever have to learn. In order to serve others and be of service, you have to take care of yourself first, otherwise you won’t have the resources to share of your time and energy with others.
If avoiding a toxic person entirely is what’s necessary for you to take care of yourself, do what you need to do for your own stress levels. Stress wears upon your body, from your sleep all the way to your blood pressure.
How have you managed to deal with toxic people in your life?
What relationships stress you out most in your life?
If you want my support and/or want to know when my next conscious communication workshop will be, contact me here.
Power Packed with nutrients to keep you healthy & satisfied!
This smoothie is vegan and gluten free.
Prep Time: 5-10 Minutes
• 2 cups loosely packed
kale or spinach
• 1 green apple
• 2 frozen bananas
• 1 cup almond milk
1. Wash greens and apple.
2. Core apple and cut into quarters.
3. Blend greens, apple, bananas, and milk on high until creamy,
adding more almond milk if needed.
Last week I spoke about how we are entrusted with this body- it's a gift and we are entitled to nothing.
This week as some of you are embarking on the 3 Day Refresh with me, I want to remind you to pay attention. To what?
Pay attention to what makes you come alive!!! Meaning, what makes you feel good, peaceful, grateful?
Yes, sometimes it's getting on a plane and going on a sweet retreat (PS: 2018 Tulum Retreat dates have been set!).
However, most often it's much simpler. When we stop and pay attention often we realize that feeling good results from choosing to see and fully experience "the good".
Make a gratitude list.
Take 5 minutes to feel the sun on your face while you inhale and exhale.
Plan that breakfast/lunch/dinner/movie/comedy show/musical/massage.
When we "do" things we enjoy - and remain present - it makes us feel ALIVE. Feeling alive results in feeling good. When we feel good, our state of being is enhanced and we make better choices. As we repeat this cycle, we "need" less and less to feel good. Each moment becomes an opportunity to say, "yes, thank you". And we realize it's not so much what we are "doing"...it's how we are "being" in the doing.
Ahhhh...being and doing is what I speak about in my book, Reclaiming Joy. For most of us it's a lifetime practice...
SPROUT AND BERRY SALAD WITH ZESTY LIME VINAIGRETTE
Vegan & Gluten-Free
Prep Time: 15 Minutes
Yield: Serves 4-6
• 12 oz sprouts of choice • 1 cup blueberries • 1 cup raspberries • 1 avocado • 3 tbsp hemp seeds
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil • Juice of 3 limes • Zest of 3 limes • Sea salt, to taste • Black pepper, to taste
1. Rinse and pat sprouts, blueberries, and raspberries dry.
2. Add to large mixing bowl.
3. Halve and score avocado into small cubes. Add to bowl.
4. Sprinkle sea salt and black pepper.
5. Add hemp seeds.
6. In a separate bowl, whisk together extra-virgin olive oil, lime juice, lime zest, sea salt, and black pepper.
7. Pour over mixture and toss well.
Last week I spoke about catching myself colluding with the "negative" and shared that Life Goes On. Whatever we decide to see (obstacle or opportunity), we get.
This week I am reminded that my body is a gift and I am entitled to nothing. I am not entitled to the air I breathe, the water I drink, the food I eat, the thoughts I have or my connection with others. Humbling really.
Rather, I am entrusted with this body. I am given this body as a gift to treat it with respect and reverence.
Why am I saying this?
As the year comes to an end, and the holiday season arrives, many of us feel stress in body, mind, and spirit. We "push" through to the end of the year, promising ourselves in the new year we will make "positive" changes.
Perhaps we are neglecting our body by making poor food choices, skipping our movement routine, and not sleeping enough.
Some of us feel mental stress-- work, family/relationship, money issues.
Others of us feel spiritually distressed-- the above plus feeling alone or disconnected.
This is a reminder to stop, look, and listen. Don't wait until January.
Take an inventory of how you are presently caring - or not caring for your body, mind and spirit.
Then choose one small action step to take. Maybe you will join my FREE, 3 Day Refresh which starts next Monday, December 4th.
My friends, we are entrusted with this body. It's a gift we are given. From this perspective we begin to make choices that naturally support our well being. Meaning, we begin to replace bad habits that negatively affect our physical, mental , emotional and spiritual health with ones that help us thrive.
We shift from seeing healthy/positive changes/choices as "work", "should", "have to"... to seeing them as taking responsibility for this gift we have been entrusted with..that we are not entitled to.
Taking responsibility for our body, and in turn our life, is powerful way to live. And in my experience, the most powerful motivator for lasting change.
3 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body, Mind & Spirit
Group Meditation- 4 Part Series, Starts Tomorrow, Tuesday, 11/28. Learn More.
An Evening of Nourishing You- Harness the Power of Good Health, Wednesday, 11/29. Learn More.
3 Day Refresh- Rejuvenate Body, Mind & Spirit- Starts Monday, 12/4. Learn More.
Last week I spoke about life is how we see it. I talked about whatever you focus on, you get more of. What are you noticing? Are you the type to see the glass half full or half empty?
This week I want to share a story where I caught myself colluding with the glass half empty.
I planned to be back in Long Beach, NY yesterday to run the 10K Turkey Trot (yes with "the" turkey hat!). I've been training for it. I've run it a few times in years past and love it (picture above left)
So...I've been training for this 10K that happened yesterday in NY. A week ago my plans changed and I realized I am not going to be back in NY until after the Turkey Trot.
I felt a surge of frustration as my mind began indulge in "story". I got myself all worked up with the emotion of wanting to be back in NY, yet it not being the right time, and also all the training I have done for what!! And friends, running with that turkey hat...it brings me great joy :)
So, I tried looking for a Turkey Trot here in IL where I spend half my time these days and the only ones are on Thanksgiving Day which is when I will be back in NY. Argh!!!
Many of you know my relationship with running. I love to hate it, yet it loves me and I am at my best in my life when I am running. Running helps me feel at peace when the weather gets colder and the days have more darkness.
So, after realizing I would not be participating in a turkey trot this year I felt disappointed, down, aggravated. I allowed myself to collude with the negative-- giving my energy and attention to the seeming obstacle.
Then it hit me!
I asked myself: What is the opportunity here? What is the glass half full approach?
The answer I discovered:
I will run my own 10K turkey trot here in IL on the same day it is taking place in NY!!
Decision made I set out to find a turkey hat to wear because of course mine is in NY and I must trot in the hat..
Guess what? I couldn't find a hat in time. Party City, Target, not even Amazon Prime!!
And so... I realized once again, I must be agile and open. If not a turkey hat, then what??
I realized while at Target there was a reindeer hat. AHA. Got it. I must shift my plan.
The story ends with me running my own, solo 10K Reindeer Hop in IL yesterday with my reindeer hat (picture above right). It was exhilarating and I beat my goal for time. I felt the energy of the trotters in Long Beach, NY.
What's the lesson here? And quite frankly it's the BIG lesson for me this year:
Trot. Hop. Crawl. Soar. Scream. Laugh. Cry. Whatever. Life Goes On. Whatever I decide to see (obstacle or opportunity), I get. Choose Wisely.
And while this example is "light", the principles can be applied to even the most challenging of circumstance in life.
As we come to the end of this year...begin to think about:
What is your big lesson this year?
How will you start to grow from it now- here - today?
How will you give thanks for the wisdom?
Wisdom + Gratitude will prepare you to start 2018 ready to THRIVE!
Speaking of THRIVING...
3 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Body, Mind & Spirit:
Group Meditation- 4 Part Series, Starts Tuesday, 11/28. Learn More.
An Evening of Nourishing You- Harness the Power of Good Health, Wednesday, 11/29. Learn More.
3 Day Refresh- Rejuvenate Body, Mind & Spirit- Starts Monday, 12/4. Learn More.
3 Day Refresh Program
Rejuvenate Your Body, Mind & Spirit
Starts Monday, December 4, 2017
One of the other things I was reminded of while on retreat in Tulum is how important connecting body, mind & spirit is in order to really THRIVE.
As such, starting Monday, December 4th I am offering a FREE 3 Day Refresh Program to Rejuvenate Body, Mind, & Spirit.
The program is FREE & self guided for you to do from home via email.
Each day over the 3 days, starting Monday, December 4th, you will take time to restore yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This program is also a nice "reset" after Thanksgiving!!
You will disconnect from technology, tune in to what your digestive system is telling you, and practice mindfulness to help slow down your busy mind.
Each day, starting Monday, December 4th until Wednesday, December 6th you receive an email with a simple action. Each action is designed to rejuvenate your body, mind, and spirit.
Committing to something like this can be overwhelming in itself, so I want to assure you – each action will be simple and easy to incorporate into your day-to-day life regardless of how busy your schedule is.
If you want in, please email me here.
Feel free to pass along to loved ones as well.
It's only 3 days, you can do it!!
Last week I spoke about spiritual mindfulness and why it's important if we want to thrive.
This week I am still singing a sweet song from our retreat in Tulum. So, I want to keep it simple by helping us remember that life is how we see it.
Life is either a miracle or not. Life is either an opportunity to thrive, open, go higher or not. Life is either a magic carpet ride full of experiences that make us say "WOW, how sweet it is", or not. Get the idea?
Life, and therefore our experience of being alive, comes down to what we choose to see. Yes, that choice word again. Isn't it empowering? Maybe frightening too once we understand the responsibility we have to live the life of our dreams.
An example of what we choose to see and how it impacts our experience happened divinely in Tulum while we were on retreat.
Picture it: Our group was scrumptious: loving, kind, peaceful and so positive!! Very high vibe, cool and fun. So...
Enter another yoga group who was there at the same time who were behaving "not quite as scrumptious" as us. By the 2nd day, our group was getting triggered by these people and starting to lose its high vibe...or as I say, we began colluding with the negative.
I used our experience of the "other" group as a divinely timed teaching moment to bring us back to the idea that life, and therefore our experience of life, is how we choose to see it.
In this case, we could continue to focus our attention on how the other group was behaving...and therefore bring down our energy and vibe. Or, we could accept the fact we disliked the other groups behavior, and seek to understand them. Meaning, the other group was there to enjoy as well, and perhaps the way they were going about it was not how we do...and yet, we are all one. We chose to send them love and to continue focusing our energy on our group.
Guess what happened?
We learned the value of staying vibrant and positive even in the midst of negativity. We released judgment and sent them love instead. We felt better...empowered...moved from negative, low vibe back to positive, high vibe.
Remember, when we are in control of our attention, we are in control of our choice. Where our attention goes, our energy flows. We must choose wisely based on how we wish to live --- because life, and our experience of life is how we see it.
"You can see the glass half empty, or you can see it half full. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right. But whatever you focus on, you are going to get more of. Creation is an extension of thought. Think lack, and you get lack. Think abundance and you get more." - Marianne Williamson
Last week I spoke about the physical aspects of mindfulness. I broke it down to 3 major areas of our physical health and well-being: nutrition, rest, and movement.
What are you noticing?
This week I am back from our sweet retreat in Tulum, Mexico (view from yoga studio pictured above). WOW. Talk about nourishment on all levels...mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. This leads me to the final part in this mindfulness series: our spiritual health.
What is spiritual mindfulness?
It starts with defining what "spirituality" means to you. For example, I define spirituality not as a religion. Rather, spirituality is that which connects me to life beyond "me, myself and I". This could be my connection to people, animals, nature, the universe, and in my case, my connection with God. With definition in hand, I am able to engage in practices that take me beyond me...
What are some spiritual practices?
There are many: meditation, yoga, walking in nature, prayer, ritual, writing, reading certain books.... Pretty much anything that uplifts me and enables me to feel connected to the whole of life is spiritual food.
Why is it important to be spiritually mindful?
For me, without spiritual practices, I feel disconnected and life has no meaning. Often the most challenging times in life are overcome by having spiritual practices that support us. In times when life is smooth, these same practices enable us to "grow higher"...
How often to engage in spiritual practices?
Daily. Success comes when we practice little bits, consistently. Over time, daily practice creates life long habits.
Last week I spoke about the emotional aspects of mindfulness. I shared ways to manage your emotions in a way that allows you to stay in control of your energy.
This week I want to talk about the physical aspects of mindfulness.
To keep it simple, I am breaking it down to 3 major areas of our physical health and well-being, as I see it:
In my experience, the quality of foods we eat and beverages we drink impact our physical health more than anything. Again, I speak of this in more detail on page 16 of my book Reclaiming Joy. Meantime, as it relates to mindfulness, we really are what we eat. The quality of food we put into our body directly impacts everything from our thoughts and our ability to think clearly to the energy we have to enjoy life.
Nutrition Mindfulness Tip: Have at least one meal per day slowly and in silence. Pay attention to how you feel during & after you eat. What was the experience like? Did you enjoy the food more? Taste it more? Is the food "right" for you? How much is "enough"?
Most of us are sleep deprived. We are turned on, and unable to sleep even when we are exhausted. Did you know it takes energy to get restful sleep? What I will say about sleep, as with food, is that it is the foundation to all aspects of our well-being. Without consistent adequate rest we are causing harm to our physical body. When we sleep, our body recovers from the day. Think about when you are sick-- your body naturally wants to rest. Same is true on a daily basis as our body undergoes the stress of living...we need to give it time to recover.
How much sleep do you need? For me, 8 hours per night, sometimes 9 is what I need.
Sleep Mindfulness Tip: How much sleep do you require? Be honest... Work toward it if you aren't there already, and notice what improves? Are you making better food choices because you don't feel so tired? Having more fun? More energy to exercise?
PS: One of my intentions after the Tulum Retreat is to create a deep sleep retreat :)
Think about it. One of the best ways to "move" stress/anxious energy, relax our mind, and keep our body strong is movement. There is no way around this so it's best to find what works for you. Over the years I went from a gym rat to someone who does almost everything I can outside: bike, run, swim, walk, yoga, hula hoop, whatever. If it's way too cold, I do yoga or dance indoors. Move your body 5 times per week!!!
Movement Mindfulness Tip: Notice how you manage stress when you commit to consistent movement. Do you feel happier and more energized? Maybe more positive? Find ways to have fun with movement.
New Workshops & Programs Next Month!!!
Stay tuned for my new upcoming workshops & programs that integrate body, mind, and spirit. They will include nutrition for body, mind, and spirit to help you prepare to bring in 2018 ready to THRIVE!!! If you want to be informed, email me here.